Autumn

Autumn is a magical time for everyone I know.  I don't think I have ever met anyone who didn't enjoy the fall.  Fall means cool weather, fabulous color, flannel scarves, knee high boots, coffee with heat you can see wafting in the cool air, and finally, finally, a fire in the fireplace.  Anyone who knows me, knows this is my favorite time of year.  It used to be for all of the reasons above, and maybe it still is a little, but mostly, fall means the opening ceremonies to time spent cherishing your family.  It's really unlike all the other seasons. Summer--that's an ode to the self--darkening your tans, vacationing on the beach, finding the perfect bathing suits, cocktails and June brides.  Spring is about newness and fresh starts--with warmer weather and cherry blossoms (a beacon of light after the seemingly never ending cold), spring cleaning, gardening, and if you're like me--some Allegra-D.  And winter is about introspection.  Resolving and spending lots of time indoors, finding joy in solitude, good books and old movies.  But fall is different.  Fall is Halloween, gushing over your neighbors' kids.  It's about Thanksgiving--gathering together and loving one another, knowing it isn't always going to be this way and to cherish every second of it.  Fall is about Christmas shopping. Making a list of all the people you love, and finding a token to represent that love.  Fall is about festivals and travel plans.  It's about screaming when your team scores a touchdown (unless you're me--because I hope every team loses).  It's about gathering kindling while you push the stroller, pointing out squirrels to the baby.  It's about crunching in the leaves with your dog at the dog park.  It's grandma's pictures of her cat, Muriel.  It's about warm pie over the sink with your mom.  It's about the pumpkin you carve and attempt to thrust your unhappy baby into (sorry Ezra) before he kicks it off the counter.  It's about the spice scented candle your husband lights in the bathroom so you can enjoy your warm shower by it's glow.  It's about that extra latte you buy for your coworker.  Fall is about everyone else.  And it is so, so magical.

This year, we celebrate with our Ezra.  He is surrounded by so many people who love and cherish him.  His being punctuates what I have been feeling for the last several years: a sense if urgency to enjoy this time. To savor it, hold on to it, appreciate it.  Though it is painful to think of, I know it won't always be this way.  The people we love won't always be gathered around our Thanksgiving tables.  The voices on the other end of the phone won't always belong to healthy, happy loved ones.  There is going to be sadness one day.  I know that.  So this year--and maybe all years--I'll enjoy the cozy fire, flannel scarves, and hot coffee, but that's not what it is really about.  It will be about extra hugs, extra cuddles, and another piece of pie over the sink.