Saturday, March 8, 2014

Guest Post: The Husband Speaks



 I've never had a guest poster before!!  Here he is--the apple of my eye, the derp to my herp, the love of my life and the man behind the bump!

____________________________________________________________

I am not a blogger.

Ashley, however, insists that I contribute to this blog, and so I shall—this one time.

Since I’m not the one actually going through the trials of pregnancy, I don’t have to worry about swollen ankles or sudden vomiting, and the only reason my waist is expanding is because I’m too busy with school to maintain a workout routine. And I refuse to cease eating brownies. So, many of my thoughts about this pregnancy have to do with my part as a future first-time father.

Ultimately, I know that much of first-time parenthood is learned while flying by the seat of your pants; but I do like imagining that in some way I’ll be able to give Bun the sort of childhood that will make him well-rounded, no matter what he eventually decides to pursue in life. (So long as it’s a good and honest pursuit, of course. That nixes illicit drug trading and law school.) What does it mean to be well-rounded? As a graduate student who studies Booker T. Washington, it means an education that nourishes and trains the head, heart, and hand.

Head: I want to introduce Bun to all sorts of intellectual ideas and curiosities. When he’s young, I want to take him on hikes through a forest and teach him how to identify the different birds and trees. As he grows older, I want to show him the joy and mystery of language. I hope he’ll be a thousand times more adept at public speaking than I am, and a commanding writer as well. Later in life, I hope that he’ll cultivate an interest in history or philosophy or music theory—something that probes the depths of the human condition and causes him to become a reflective thinker.

Heart: In speaking to his friend, Antonio famously said, “I hold the world but as the world, Gratiano: a stage where every man must play a part, and mine a sad one.” I don’t think my part has been a sad one, but I am naturally cautious, serious, reserved, and quiet, especially in new company. Ashley is just the opposite, and I hope that Bun acquires the best from both of us. I want him to be responsible and thoughtful, amiable and enterprising; but above all, I want him to be known for his kindness. I think it’s difficult to teach a person to become all of these things—nature is a powerful force—but I also believe that parents help to set an impressive standard for their children. Ashley and I aren’t perfect, but I know we’ll always make every effort to impart the best we have to offer.

Hand: Finally, I want Bun to learn the worth of hard work and of triumphing over life’s hardships. We can know what happiness, success, and excellence are only if we know something about their opposites. Too many Millennials today grew up in families or schools that sought to cover the whole world in a gloss: everyone’s a winner, all morals are values and all values are relative, effort and struggle are evidence of injustice, and so on. The end result is a generation of youth for whom happiness is stimulus, success is guaranteed by lowering all thresholds, and excellence is meaningless because no one is naturally better than anyone at anything. This will not be Bun’s world. Bun will get blisters on his hands from mowing the lawn and digging holes for seedlings; he will enter contests (if such things still exist), compete, and place somewhere in a ranking, maybe first but not necessarily so; and he will be taught the importance and dignity that comes from the self-sufficiency and independence of living life as a free human being.

I don’t expect Bun to become our little Übermensch, our tiny perfect “superman.” He will be human, just like us. But I do enjoy imagining that Ashley and I will provide him with a family and home in which he will be loved, educated, and raised in such a way that he will have every opportunity to become a more perfect version of ourselves.

And that goes for Bunnette, too.

-Jason


Her Stats:
Weeks Pregnant:  13.75
Baby size: Large lemon
Weeks to go: 26.25
Cravings:  Literally anything someone mentions or that I see on television.  Chicken.  Peanut butter and jelly, reese's peanut butter cups, pasta with meatballs.  You name it, I crave it.
Food aversions: Everything sounds delicious.
Feeling:  Large and in charge.
Missing most: Fitting into skinny jeans.
Loving most:  Showing!!  Eee!  It's happening!!
Most recent purchase:  Maternity jeans.  Uh... why are they so expensive?
Gender predictions: Still 50-50.


His Stats:
Patience level:  Honey badger.
Cravings: Brownies.
Feeling:  Blank.
Loving most: Xanax.
Missing most: Mexican food.
Her worst symptom: Lust.
Most recent purchase for the baby:  Camera.
Gender predictions: Little dude.


Sunday, March 2, 2014

12 Weeks!

Officially 3 months pregnant!  And just a few days away from the second trimester.  Praise God!  I really need all of the ailments to vanish right on the day.  I always thought I'd wear my maternity like a feminine sun dress--an avatar of the fertile, life creating, woman.  Instead I'm wearing them like leopard print, lycra stirrup tights--sweaty, breathless, tired, and not cute.  I'm hoping that the second trimester will bring me that mythical energy, a settled stomach, and an extreme resistance to springtime allergies (that last bit is probably just wishful thinking).

In other news, we got to see our little Chippy this week.  We had our first appointment at the midwives' office.  It was mostly uneventful, but when it came time to go into that dark ultrasound room, I was so thankful to have my husband there.  She covered me in blue gel and put the little wand over my belly, and just like that, there it was.  Clear as day!  Jason and I held hands as we watched the sweet little thing bounce around.  We thought it would be more stationary--lounging around in there.  Boy were we wrong!  We have a little acrobat!  It was flipping and spinning and twisting and putting on a real show for us.  I got a little teary eyed and Jason was just awed, gently squeezing my hand the whole time.  It had a hearty heart beat of 165 bpm and lots of cool tricks.  I expected it to look more like a tadpole, but it had a nice round head, arms, legs, and a thick torso.  Every bit of that two inch baby was my favorite.  I can't believe how much I love it already.  We spent the rest of the day shell shocked and awed--thinking of our sweet little baby who isn't so little anymore.  It definitely made it seem so much more real, seeing that little thing growing in my belly. 

And speaking of belly, weird, weird things are going on.  I wake up feeling weird movement in my abdomen.  Not like baby kicking or moving--more like things shifting and pushing.  I keep telling myself that it's all in my head, but yesterday was unmistakeable.  Slightly painful and very weird are the only ways I know how to describe it.  I have to think it's just my body making room for a growing baby.  The other, weirdest change is the texture of my hair.  For the last two weeks, I couldn't figure out where all this oil was coming from.  I hadn't changed any of my shampoos or conditioners and it wasn't until I started googling that I drew the connection.  Maybe ladies who don't have oily hair get that glowing, shiny hair.  But I'm constantly fighting the oil, and whatever glow and shine baby is giving me is coming out in an oily patch on the back of my head.  I've tried to combat it with clarifying shampoos, but that does nothing for the oil and gives me dead, frayed ends.  Any solutions are welcome.  Right now, all I've got is the pony tail.  See what I mean?  Leopard, lycra stirrup tights.

Other than that, it's sleep, sleep, sleep for me.  I've had to cut back on my babysitting duties because I'm just not my best me when I don't get my 4:00 nap.  I spent all of this weekend just sleeping (I think I was awake for a total of 4 hours of Saturday) and I still feel like I could use a nap.   Maybe after some Girl Scout cookies.


That's all for now!
Love,
Ashley

Her Stats:
Weeks Pregnant:  12.75
Baby size: Large plum
Weeks to go: 27.25
Cravings:  Pork fried rice, vanilla ice cream, Powerade (fruit punch!), strawberry-banana smoothies, milk.
Food aversions:  Corn sounds horrible right now.
Feeling:  So tired.
Missing most: Not feeling like a schlub.
Loving most:  Maxi dresses.
Gender predictions:  After seeing the ultrasound, I think maybe a girl?  50-50!


His Stats:
Patience level:  7.
Cravings:  Cheetos.
Loving most: My wife.  No. Chocolate.
Missing most: Free time.
Her worst symptom:  Wrath.
Feeling: Almost happy.
Gender predictions: Carl Winslow